When the fact of the matter is, I can have any guy I want. Well almost. But if I wanted....that guy. I could have him. If I wanted this other guy. I could have him. But I don't. And the one I do want. I can't have. WTF? How is it that I have guys dying to date me, but the ones I do want, I can't get, or won't be with me. FUCK.

I don't have enough money to spend.

Don't fuckin' think otherwise. You can't get into my pants. I won't be fucking you. You will not get head, or a handjob. DON'T TRY IT!

"I hate the night because I can't sleep, and I hate the day because it leads into the night."
-F. Scott Fitzgerald

....Hideous Car Wreck

I'd have to say I agree with this, metaphorically speaking of course.


Though I do not love anyone anymore. I'm not entirely sure that I can love again. I've been hurt way too much recently. Whatever.

Love,
Sunshine Killer
Roxy Smiles Skittles
Melanizzle
Melli
Lunchbox
Mel
Alyce Ann
And all the other nicknames the boys have given me

Poison of choice: Brand New, Okay, I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't
Weapon of choice: Duct Tape

Why do you torture me, taunt me, tease me so? Your face that haunts me, and torments my dreams. Your kiss lingers on my lips, and they feel warm as though you never left. The feel of your hands on my back, my chest, my neck, my face. Always there, always warm. Your body soft against mine, leaving me yearning for you all the time.

.........Use me
............I'm beautiful
........................Take me
..............................I'm yours

I would give it all, if only I could for just one night, be with you till the sun comes up.


I want you.
....................................
I'd die for you.
....................................
Just to be with you.
....................................

Forever,
Melanie


(This is really for no one in particular, Just feeling poetic tonite. Though this was inspired by Buttercup.)

When you think you have finally gone and done something right, you turn around and do something wrong and it all blows up in your face. Fuck.

Goddamn.

I saw Ryan's ice cream truck.......With the spinners...........



Playing none other than:






POP GOES THE WEASEL

ELPHABA
I'm limited:
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you -
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
(spoken) For both of us
(sung) Now it's up to you:

GLINDA
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:

GLINDA
Because I knew you:

BOTH
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

GLINDA
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

BOTH
And none of it seems to matter anymore

GLINDA.............................. ELPHABA
Like a comet pulled........... Like a ship blown
From orbit as it................. Off it's mooring
Passes a sun, like.............. By a wind off the
A stream that meets........ Sea, like a seed
A boulder, half-way.......... Dropped by a
Through the wood............ Bird in the wood

BOTH
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?

GLINDA
And because I knew you:
ELPHABA
Because I knew you:

BOTH
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.

Today at about 11:57 a.m. I received my diploma and made my final fairwell to the staff and students of HDJ. A fond farewell and many tears go out to my friends whom I cherish, and owe everything I have become to them. So I will start at the beginning.

Michelle- Though we are not friends, or even remotely close to it. She was one of the first girls I had ever been able to get along with.

Jesse- It was a wonderful year being with you. You truely changed me for the better. I will always have a special place for you in my heart.

Will- You made me more independent, and taught me to love myself for who I am.

Marie- I have never met anyone more like me in my life. It has been wonderful with you as my friend.

Zach- One of the best friends I have ever had. I don't know what I would do without you in my life.

C.J.- Thank you for being my friend, and helping create the Tripod. :)

I owe thanks to Jenna, Jessica F., Jessica S., Lexy, Katie A., Katie H., Ryan, Paul, Tom, Jim, David, Gerg, MILES, Samwise, Sameer, Shayan, Andy, Brino, Danno, Jessy, V., Brian G., Brian C., Jessy R., Jessica, My Girlfriend Matt, Jay, Mike F., Jeremy, Katy, Matt, Ryan N., Matt N., Bobby G., Mark, Aleisha, Amanda, Danielle, Felica, Dennis, Nick, Nick O., Nicole, Samatha, Missy L-loyd.

And to all the teachers who guided me and pushed me along when I didn't want to. Espel for directing me in choir for 4 years; K for being so unorthodox in her teaching; Allen for trying to push me the extra mile; Bardin for letting me sleep and talking about heavy metal and being a druggie (jk); Fricke for letting us burn things; Price for taking the class to new heights after Rusek; Gabriel for making me dress even when I didn't want to, but because we had a walk n' talk; Pratt for keeping me in shape; Domenz for letting me obsess over my projects; and last but not least, Avampato for guiding me along this year and understanding when I couldn't make it after school cause I was heartbroken.

I do believe I have been changed for the better.

A silent tear and a fond farewell to those I leave on this day.