Well, well, well... Right now I am on the phone with Art. He's cool. I am going to the Taste of Chicago with him on the fouth. So that should be cool. I've been on the phone with him until like early morning. I have a list of things to do that I have to start.

1. Dye hair
2. Get/Pick out outfit for senior pics
3. Plan B-day party
4. Warped tour tickets
5. Figure out Disturbed concert thing
6. Pack more stuff
7. Find new job

God, someone help me, please. I feel like everything is crashing down around me. Everything with my mom has just gone swiftly downhill since Wednesday. It's not getting any better. I need you Will, I need you so much right now. I just need someone. I feel so alone...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit "Skip Ahead"...

Music: Good Charlotte
Mood: Pissed off.
Life: Grounded
Death: Eh.
Moving status: Our house is sold, we just have no where to move into.

The constant banging is driving me mad. I've no clue as to where it is coming from, nor who or what is doing it. Warped Tour is coming up. Nick is supposed to take me, but I haven't heard from him, so I'm thinking of just buying my own ticket and going with some friends, like maybe Mark and Greg and what not. I don't know, but I have to figure it out soon. Maybe I will ask my mom to buy me a ticket for my birthday, it's 3 days before, and take whatever other money she is going to give me and buy merchandise from there. There's a good plan. I will figure it out thought, and update later.

Music: whatever is on the launch station
Mood: Tired
Life: Just kinda there
Death: Nope, not yet
Moving status: Lost the house, but ours is sold

OOOOHHH!!! how I love life. Brian called me today, when, I am not entirely sure. My phone has been dead for about 2 days. Hung out with Cait, Jessy, Carrie, and Dale today. We went to Red Robin, it was pretty fun. Then came back to my house and hung out for a little while. That was cool. Now I am here. Typing to no one. I have to drive out to St. Charles on about a 1/4 tank of gas to get my brakes replaced and I have to drive back on that. I really hope my mom gives me money to pay for it. Because I don't have the money. Which sucks. Tomorrow I have to call Cait after I get my brakes done and am heading home, and I have to let Brian know what we are doing. And, it's all so complicated!!! argh. I need something, I don't know what, some kind of pill, or a drug, or maybe a drink, I really don't know. Too much to do, not enough time to do it.

Thank you.

Music: Get Born Again by Alice in Chains (?) and Muse, Time is running out.
Mood: Happy
Life: Picking itself up again
Death: I plan on living forever, so far, so good
Moving status: STILL HAVE A HOUSE!!!

Well, here is news, news that had been in the first blog post of mine. Except now it is someone new. Ryan. He asked me out yesterday after like 4 hours of making out in the "sex pit." Jon had another end of the year party. It was so much fun. We went in the pool, and ate lots of food, and watched movies. Today I think I am going to see Harry Potter with Ryan and a few others. Then tomorrow I have to go to my cousins house and help her out, then to work from 5-11...oh joy, then saturday it's paintball with Daddy, then to get Ryan and on to Jessy's party with him. Will is going to be there. Hmmm...Interesting. Will, and I'm bringing Ryan... Well, well, well. I wonder... Nah. never mind.

'Twas the mid-tide of spring
and mid-time of morning.
The stars descending home
All but one left alone.
Here, high above, shining bright
Refused to leave with the waning night.
Herself up high above the world
Where the flowers become uncurled,
I stood a while
'Neath her friendly smile,
As she began her descent
With her heav'nly light spent.
Slow is her ride to her dwelling
As slowly the sun is swelling.
Nigh upon the evening
The morning star is leaving.

That is for my final for creative writing...and just to continue with my new tradition....

Music: AFI, The Despair Factor
Mood: Mellow, one more day
Life: Standing with me
Death: Nigh on 60 years from now (not sure if I used that right)
Moving Status: WE HAVE A HOUSE!!!!

Music: Muse, Time is Running out
Mood: Fair, school is almost out...
Life: Standing still
Death: Tomorrow maybe? nah, long way away
Moving Status: No house yet

Well, well, well. I haven't done my top part of my new form of my posts lately. MY fucking computer is taking forever to make CD, its been half an hour and it's only on song 5, WTF is that? I really hate my computer. My mom is going to reformat my hard drive when she gets the chance. ALLELUIA!!! It's about time. Well i just figured out why it is stopped, my computer froze, that means one wasted CD on this damn thing. FUCKING HELL...well now I have to go fix that.

Well my computer is messed up, for good, at least until the hard drive is re-formatted. Yesterday I went to Vicki's graduation party, a lot of people were there, Will was there too, it was kinda weird. In the moon walk he threw me down a couple times, jokingly I think. I thought he wanted nothing to do with me. IDK. I really don't want to talk to him about it though...but yea. I spent the night at Vicki's on Saturday, that was fun, the only thing that sucked was when I woke up I had to get ready and leave right away. Cause I'm grounded until tomorrow, *sarcastic* WOOO...it's gay, oh well. I'm beginning to ramble, so I think I will be going now.

Okay, so now I have about 2 and 3/4 days left of school considering there is no fourth block on Wednesday. Which rocks my fucking world. Tomorrow during the day (till like 3) I'm hanging out with Mark, then at about 3 I will be going to Vicki's grad party. (YAY VICKI!) Then from there I know not what I will be doing, probably just chillin' at Vicki's, which is kool, its been a while since we hung out. So yea... I really like this guy, I'm not gonna say who it is here, but he knows who he is, at least he should. I am really hoping things will get somewhere with him. Oh my god...I can't wait for school to get out. Leffler called home today, I didn't feel like doing 2 of my projects, so I didn't do it. I really dont give a damn, I don't need that class to graduate. And if I need more credits, I'll take gym, lol. It works...well I think I am done...

Music: Currently, Manson- Ka-Boom Ka-Boom, mix of songs though
Mood: Content
Life: Just kinda there
Death: Not here yet...
Moving Status: Nothing right now

Well, I am down to the last 5 days of school, yay! Today I went and got my stuff from Will's house, and gave him back his stuff. My hoodie smells like him now, I can't decide if that is good or bad... Then after that I went and got coffee and drove around. I checked my cell and saw I had a missed call. It was Kyle, so naturally I called him back, and we talked and I went to his house and talked some more, like 2 hours more. So that was pretty cool. I finished that damn poetry project finally. Well MOSTLY finished, still have to write the explanations for all of my poems, but that won't take long. I'll finish it up tomorrow. Well now I think it is off to bed for me. I'm so tired. Night All!

Music: AFI-Morning Star
Mood: In pain, alot of pain
Life: Hanging in front of me
Death: Looooong way away
Moving Status: Still nonexistant

feeling weird. i read will's blog and all the posts about him being annoyed and what not...weird...idk. i had a dream about him last night. i had another dream about like my work or something like that, but i dont really remember it. i feel like i ruptured my spinal cord. it hurts so much, and my mom wont take me to a chiropractor...and im in so much pain....i hate it...well time to continue the poetry project.